I’ve had so much to be thankful for this year. To think about how much I have accomplished is overwhelming and I’m proud to say that I’ve lived my 29th 30th year to the fullest. I’ll save the super sentimental stuff for the “official” post but until then…
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!
… but it can cause you stress!
Unlike my weight, I’m definitely not going to be throwing numbers around on my blog with regards to our finances. That’s clearly need to know information and well, you don’t need to know. 
That being said, John and I have done pretty well this year – no doubt in part to the fact that I haven’t bought new shoes in nearly 365 days. I’ve also been good about planning meals out ahead of time so I’ve got less wasted food and we’ve cut back on going out to eat, etc. (although I would love more date nights every once in a while).
We have discovered that the biggest expense we have is definitely the dogs… do you know how much it costs to put them in boarding? It pretty much doubles the cost of any trip away. Good thing they’re worth it.
The other thing is, we’re in the midst of making a pretty big, amazing purchase. Once it’s finalized, I’ll give more details (no, we’re not moving to Maine… don’t get excited) but that’s been the focus of our money talks as of late.
So, although this is a short and sweet post about money (or actually not about it), I can definitely say that I can cross this one off my list.
28. Become more financially responsible (John and I have a personal goal set)
I’ll give you all I’ve got to give
If you say you love me too
I may not have a lot to give
but what I’ve got I’ll give to you
For I don’t care too much for money
For money can’t buy me love.
~The Beatles
I was very open last spring about the choice to NOT include having a baby on my list of things to accomplish by the time I turn 30 (if you need a refresher, click here). Talk about pressure!!! Failure is not an option and so this was just not going on the list.
But again, it’s not because I don’t want a baby. In fact, I can’t wait to have an adorable little bundle of love to cuddle with. The diapers and all night feedings I could do without, but that baby smell? Yeah, I like that. But you know what guys? That adorable, powder-scented baby who thinks you’re the best thing on earth will grow up to be a teenager who might think you’re the scum of the earth. And I’m not ready for that kind of rejection. You know how I am.
Either way, I put it on my list to “Babysit for one of the many new babies in my life so my friend/family member can go on a date with their husband (and I can test my feet in the baby water).” Sadly, I haven’t EXACTLY provided a friend or loved one with a night out, baby free and only the worry that I might screw something up. I was starting to panic that I’m running out of time to do this… all these babies are far away after all.
Babysitting… you’re doing it wrong.
I was expressing my stress that I might indeed fail at this (ohmygodno) to my friend Kate and she reminded me of something pretty important. Kate has two children teenagers of her own; two teenagers that I love dearly, who have taught me that kids can, indeed, grow up to be pretty cool. And Kate has taught me that moms can still drink wine. Last spring, Kate’s husband had a heart thing that required an emergency trip to the hospital and some new hardware in the form of a stint. It was so last minute that someone had to be called to leave work early and meet her kids off the bus and explain to them what had happened, reassure them that everything was going to be ok and console them when they had every right to be inconsolable. That person – the person that Kate CHOSE to be with her children in this time of need – was me. And I did it to the best of my ability which is all anyone was asking for. I know the two of them so well that I knew what their reactions would be and the fact that they would be completely different. M was immediately concerned as to why I was there when she got off the bus. She is so logical and processes information quickly but fully. I answered all of her questions because I knew she wanted the truth. She’s actually just like me and was roughly the same age that I was when I got the call that my dad was diagnosed with cancer. I wish that I had had someone like me to meet me off the bus that day. When her little brother, B, got home, he acted as if he didn’t care but I could see right through him and handled him a little differently. I gave only the information he asked for and reassured him in a much more abstract way. I gauged both of them, was able to feel out their individual needs and then we ate dinner at Subway and had a sleepover, complete with junk food and movies before I drove them each to school the next day. All along, I was talking to Kate on the phone, tempering my reaction and questions as to not concern the kids without hiding any information from them.
And we all survived it together.
When Kate reminded me of this, I was like, yeah… that TOTALLY counts. Sure, I haven’t changed a diaper in a while and I am not sure that I could feed a child a properly balanced meal without reading a few how-to books or consulting with 1000 people but I can be compassionate and caring and supportive for the kids that need me most at any given time. I actually do have that in me… who knew?
Not only that, my best friend brought her adorable son to my house when we ran the 5K. We balanced 3 dogs and a ten month old… it was chaos but manageable, especially considering my dogs are SO not used to the noises that our tiny guest made. I know it will take a lot of work to prepare them but it’s definitely doable. A baby in my environment, on my turf, gave me a heavy dose of reality of what that would be like. Plus, while the men went and picked up dinner, Katy took a shower and it was just me and the boy for a solid 15 minutes (until he started freaking out and then we marched right up to the bathroom for some mama comfort).
And yesterday, I got to stop at my cousin’s house on the way home from Christmas weekend and play with her beautiful daughter who apparently thinks I’m pretty neat too. We crawled into bed and hid from her imaginary friend and the rest of the family, giggled while we yelled “Boo!” and sang songs before she gave me the best hug before nap time. Wow… pretty damn cool. If having kids gives you the chance to act like a kid all the time, sign me up! Oh, you have to be responsible and make sure you act like an adult sometimes? Well, let’s hold out for a little bit then…
Having kids is all fun and games, right? Right???
So I may not have had hours of alone time where I was the sole person responsible for the care of someone else’s child but I certainly had some eye opening moments about what it’s like to be a parent. And I’ve fostered 4 dogs this year too… which definitely ain’t easy.
Besides, my dad always says that the fact that I’m worrying about being a good mom makes me a better one than most.
So… all of this totally counts.
21. Babysit for one of the many new babies in my life so my friend/family member can go on a date with their husband (and I can test my feet in the baby water)
Simply having children does not make mothers. ~John A. Shedd
For “Dear Evie, Part 1,” click here.
Dear Evie,
My heart is bursting for you! I have found your perfect forever home. I shared pictures of your beautiful face with eyes that stare into my soul and I told everyone about your sweet personality and gentle kisses. I found the perfect home where the family is laid back, there are (currently) no kids and the love is plentiful.
My heart is bursting for you! I found the perfect home that will give you doggy buddies that can provide you gentle leadership and a good snuggle buddy. And maybe even a pup that will share his toys.
My heart is bursting for you! I found the perfect home that the mom and dad love you SO much. And you love them so much too!
My heart is bursting for you! It’s been four months since you came into our lives. You were at our house longer than the other three from 2011 put together. I thought we were going to find you a home right away… you’re a perfect pocket rott with a sweet disposition! It took a while but we have finally found the perfect home for you!
My heart is bursting for you because we found you the perfect home. And I cried… a lot. But they were tears of joy for you, my Evie Beans. Because my heart is bursting for you. Because it’s bursting with love for you.
Evie, I promised you we would and we did… we found you the perfect home. A home where you are so happy. A home where you will always be tucked in the corner of my heart. We found you the perfect home… it just took us a little while to realize that it was right under our nose the whole time. We found you the perfect home…
And it’s right here with us.
I gave your daddy a Christmas collar with your name and our address on it and he smiled so big because he was so happy. He immediately took your “foster collar” off and put your new collar on… and you smiled even bigger. You knew Evie… you knew all along that you were exactly where you were supposed to be. And you were right.
Merry Christmas my little Evie Beans… Merry Christmas.
Love,
Your FUREVER mama
Evie getting the best Christmas present ever. Oh wait, that was us.
Acquiring a dog may be the only opportunity a human has to choose a relative. ~Mordecai Siegal
Seriously… I’ve NEVER felt like Christmas has just sprung up out of nowhere like I do this year. I’m still doing last minute shopping, cleaning, laundry, etc. in preparation for travels and I can’t even fathom how I would have gotten it all done if I didn’t take an extended lunch break to hit up Marshalls today.
I’ve got some things to cross off my list and I will do it soon… before my birthday for sure but until then, I need to find the surface of this pile of wrapping paper, gift bags and bows.
Christmas is for children. But it is for grown-ups too. Even if it is a headache, a chore, and nightmare, it is a period of necessary defrosting of chill and hide-bound hearts. ~Lenora Mattingly Weber
152.6
That’s what the scale said this morning. And if you remember what I said in my post back in October when I laid it ALL out, including the numbers that are associated with my weight gain/weight loss, you’ll know that I started out at 168.2 back in August.
I’m going to show you some pics that I still can’t believe I’m willing to put up on this blog (especially when they’re now sitting next to my bloggy profile photo that is my favorite picture ever taken of me – not even comparable). These photos were taken at my beautiful friend’s wedding:
It was THIS photo that kicked my ass into high gear. Yikes. Yes, everyone has bad photos but…
…even the GOOD photo wasn’t so good.
Let’s do some simple math. 168.2-152.6=15.6 pounds baby!!! Not ALMOST 15 pounds (which I hovered at for a long time) but a legit, full 15 pounds PLUS!
I’m feeling good… I’ve been enjoying sweet and savory treats at holiday parties (a consistent reminder of why I wish I lost the weight back in the summer because this is damn hard now) but compensating by drinking more water (even if it does interrupt my day due to an increased number of trips to the restroom) and eating less at other meals, etc. to stay near my daily point allowance. It helps significantly that several of my coworkers and I have been doing Weight Watchers because we have been holding each other accountable… not food policing but more the ‘we’re in this together, let’s avoid the dessert table’ kind of way.
And it’s worked.
I’m feeling good… however, I am also glaringly aware that 152.6 pounds after gaining and losing 15+ pounds looks just a LITTLE different than 152.6 pounds the first go around. I’m feeling a little flabbier but I’m also not stupid… I could be working out more. I’m sure some situps could get me feeling like my “before” look again pretty soon. But let’s deal with one step at a time, shall we?
The important thing? I’ve just doubled my clothing options because I’m fitting back into all my pants that I haven’t been able to wear in over a year! However, I had a good healthy dose of reality when I went to the DMV where it was affirmed for me that indeed, it’s hell on earth. My new license photo, while looking like I found those 15.6 pounds again specifically around my face, reminded me that I will never look the way I did in my 25 year old license pic. And when I get my NEXT license, I’ll be 36 and probably wishing that it looked like my current photo (shudder). But yes… I’m getting older. I get it.
I’d like 5 years taken off my picture please.
But I’m still convinced that the DMV purposely makes the worst camera ever to make their job a little more tolerable by being able to laugh at everyone’s photos, including mine.
The one bonus… maybe cops will feel bad for me.
So, JUST in time for the holidays, I’ve officially lost 15 pounds. I’m at a weight I haven’t seen since sometime in early 2010 and I’ve got some great momentum so I’m hoping I won’t be stopping here. Ideally, I’d love to see another 5 pounds go missing, never to be found again, but I’m not on any time crunch to make that happen (i.e. I’m sure the mass quantities of Guinness I’m going to be consuming next month are not low in points) so I’ll just keep on keeping on to see where it gets me!
Until then…
15. Lose 15 pounds
People are so worried about what they eat between Christmas and the New Year, but they really should be worried about what they eat between the New Year and Christmas. ~Author Unknown
I hate mornings. I hate alarm clocks. I hate the 50 different annoying sounds that an alarm clock makes and the fact that I depend on them to wake me from my slumber because my internal clock certainly doesn’t do the trick. Alarm clocks make me want to punch puppies. Ok… that’s clearly a lie. I would NEVER punch a puppy. But that gives you an idea of how much I hate them… alarm clocks that is.
Maybe that’s why I punch the snooze button so many times. Like 6… meaning an hour of snooze punching. No joke.
These pictures basically summarize my feelings about my self-declaration that I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON. I clearly couldn’t pick just one:
All of this explains why I don’t get a lot of… well… anything done before work other than the obligatory get up and get ready kind of thing. And that’s even pushing it. I’m sure my co-workers could argue the point that I’m not ACTUALLY ready for the day when I walk in the door. Maybe after I have my first cup of coffee from my office Keurig. But not before. Definitely not before. So I’m certainly not jumping out of my cozy bed early enough to get a run in. Or learn to knit (yeah, it’s still there on my list).
I really wish I could change this because not a lot happens after midnight… but my brain clearly thinks I should be awake at this time. How do you think I can change this?
And don’t say “have a baby…”
I’d like mornings better if they started later. ~Author Unknown
Two weeks ago I was all sorts of braggy about how I was thisclose to crossing “Lose 15 Pounds” off my list but was worried because Thanksgiving was coming up and I was really worried about packing it ALL back on.
And it looks like that fear was totally validated. I gained a pound that week. And another one this week. That’s 2 pounds in the COMPLETELY opposite direction. I need to get serious this week because this is not good. Not. Good.
Give me some motivation… or yell at me to get my ass in gear because come on, I’m SO close and I can not fail at this. Do you hear me??? Can. Not. Fail.
And I’m in the heart of holiday season. Shit.
A diet is the penalty we pay for exceeding the feed limit. ~Author Unknown
