Ok, I’m sure that’s not completely true. That crow steak is still waiting for me after this post as well because I’m sure I’ll offend an actual child mother (as opposed to the dog mother that I am). But it’s all I know right now so just bare with me… I was having a moment today.
* You’ll swear that you won’t give in to their incessant crying barking when their ball gets stuck under a piece of furniture that is impossible to move because you don’t want them to think that you’ll do it every time… or any other similar analogy. That is, until you’re ready to pull your hair out from frustration so you get up and just getthedamnballalready. Clearly they’ll train you better than you train them.
* If you have more than one, their personalities will be more different than you could imagine and you’ll wonder how that happened. You’ll blame yourself and make excuses for their negative behaviors and attributes and forget to reward yourself for their better qualities.
* Their toys are really loud and squeaky and covered in drool and dog hair and are scattered all over the floor like mini death traps that you try and avoid in the middle of the night until you inevitably step on the SHARPEST part of that damn bone.
* It’s OK to medicate them for behavioral issues. Until you realize that the medication doesn’t work so you medicate yourself instead.
* If you don’t spay them, they’ll grow up to be bitchy teenagers that get their period and bleed all over your house. Oh… spaying your kids isn’t an option? Ok, that’s another thing I’ve learned then.
* It’s good to walk them with a leash… just as long as when it’s an actual child, that leash is in the shape of a tail and it’s attached to a cute monkey backpack. It’s not ok to use the Boston Red Sox leash and collar set. But the name tags and a number to reach you at are probably a good idea.
* You have to make some serious sacrifices and you’ll miss out on some great events with your friends and family… but then they’ll give you a slobbery kiss to tell you that they love you and appreciate those sacrifices… until they turn into previously mentioned bitchy teenagers.
* They don’t listen. You can, however, get them to do whatever you want them to do with the bribe of a cookie.
* Sometimes, they’ll drive you so insane that you don’t think you can handle it anymore and 5 minutes later (probably when they’re sleeping), you’ll forget that you were ever annoyed.
* And when that happens, it’s ok to put them in the (play)pen and walk away.
* You’ll feel like you can’t clean the house enough because as soon as you turn around, they’ve thrown their food all over the floor.
* Through it all, it’s the little things in life that will be the ones most cherished. Watching them play together, go swimming or act like fools will make you laugh so hard that you forget that they’re about to drive you crazy again.
* When it comes to fosters, you’ll pour your time, energy and all your extra love into them only to prepare them for leaving the nest and finding a family of their own… which is not unlike sending a child off to college. And they’ll take a piece of your heart with them.
* You’ll think that you can’t possibly love them any more… until you look them in the eyes and it’s like they’re sharing their soul with you.
* You’ll think that you can’t possibly love another one as much until you open your heart (and home) again… and you realize that you’ll make room.
* You will be a better person because of them and subsequently, you will never be the same…
Sometimes, they’ll hide under your furniture and look so.friggen.cute. And because you missed a really wonderful event in Maine today because your foster dog went into heat and is now wearing your husband’s boxers as a diaper, you’ll write this blog post.
Then you’ll go cuddle with the beasts because they’re so worth it.
For me a house or an apartment becomes a home when you add one set of four legs, a happy tail, and that indescribable measure of love that we call a dog. ~Roger Caras
See. You’ve already learned so much you can share your knowledge with others. You are already such an amazing mommy!