Dear Baby Darcie…

Dear Baby Darcie,
 

I thought about waiting to post this on your 30th birthday but I just couldn’t wait.  There are a lot of things I’d like you to know.  And I might forget about the post… that’s what happens when you get old.
 

You were born during a snowstorm after an ungodly number of hours of labor (or so you were told) to which you replied, “good things are worth the wait.”  Now that you are older (yep, it happens) and wiser (hopefully), I wanted to give you some tips that I’ve learned over the past (30) years.  You will go from a wispy, blonde haired little imp to a woman who your husband (and your mom) will think is the most beautiful one in the world. Keep these tips in mind – you’ll wish that you took advice from your elders in the future so start doing it now.
 

 

* You aren’t a very spontaneous person.  The Capricorn in you keeps you slightly reserved but you definitely know how to have fun.  However, your spontaneity comes through when you open your heart (you’ll learn that later when you start fostering dogs) so open your heart often… it reminds you why life’s worth living.
 

 

* No matter how much you beg, God decided that you weren’t meant to have siblings but he gave you some amazing cousins instead… and you’ll consider them the sisters (and brothers) you never had.  Cherish them – they are incredible people.

 

 

* Sometimes you can be a little self-centered… make sure you curb that.  You’re also a little shy, which you’ll find out later, led people to think you were kind of a snob.  Prove them differently and break out of your shell a little earlier.
 

 

* You’ve always been an explorer – keep learning because you love it.  And don’t be afraid of slimy things.  You’ve always been good around snakes… but spiders?  not so much.  Your phobia won’t go away (at least in your first 30 years) but it will get better.

 

 

* You called your best friend’s turtleneck “babyish” once.  You’ll never forget it.  That being said, remember to treat your friends well and they’ll be with you forever (besides, it’s really tough to make new friends after college).  You will surround yourself with some of the most amazing people in the world – people you can laugh and cry with and depend on for anything… and hopefully they will say the same about you.
 

 

* In contrast to your fairly conservative side, you do love a good adventure.  Don’t let fear win out – do everything you want to do.  And all those things your dad will pressure you to do???  They were so worth it, even if you never tell him (until he reads a blog you write when you’re older). Don’t whine so much about it.

 

 

* Speaking of your dad, he’s going to get sick right before you turn 16… real sick… and you’re not going to know what hit you.  It’s OK to cry.  You will have some support but you’ll have to realize that no one will truly know what you’re going through but you’ll be stronger because of it.  Don’t worry… he makes it and continues to drive you crazy.  But you love him.  And he’ll get to walk you down the aisle one day. 
 

 

* He’ll also teach you that popcorn is a totally acceptable dinner meal.

 

 

* Your mom is going to be your biggest cheerleader.  Always.  Remember to thank her every once in a while… you don’t do it enough.  She loves you.  A lot.  And one day, you’ll hope that you have a relationship with your daughter (if you have one) like the one that you have with your own mom.
 

* You’ll have your heart broken.  A couple of times.  Who knows, you might even break a few hearts too… but no one will really tell you if that’s true.
 

 

* Embrace your body when you’re 16.  You’ll think you’re fat.  You’re not.  In fact, you would kill to have your 16 year old body again… but you’ll still want to find a pair of tweezers for your 16 year old eyebrows.  Actually, on second thought, you’ll want your Bimini body forever – fit, tan and super blonde.  And your eyebrows will be tweezed.  When you’re pushing 30, you’ll try to lose 15 pounds and that STILL won’t put you near how you looked then.  Cherish that time.  You’re gonna be hot. Own it.
 

* You are going to LOVE animals; so much so that you focus your college degrees around them (that’s right… you’ll double major and you’ll be damn proud of it).  You might not use those degrees right away but you will come up with some surprising ideas on how to incorporate your college experience and the passion that you will make a career out of for the majority of your 20′s.  I’m still waiting to see how it goes.
 

 

* Enjoy your college years – you’re going to get super involved on campus but not until Junior year… you really should try and do that earlier because you missed a lot of opportunities.  Your alma mater?  It, combined with one of your best friends and your compassion and intrigue, will open doors that you never imagined.  Don’t get confused… it has nothing to do with your animal science/marine bio degrees but it will fulfill you in a way you never knew was possible.

 

* Speaking of which, I am so proud of what you’re going to do when it comes to your decision about what college to go to.  You’re going to choose to go “far enough away from home where mom and dad can’t drop in but close enough that you can go home when you get lonely.”  It just so happens that the love of your life will choose to go to college 45 minutes away, and although that’s not the only reason you’ll choose your school, it’s an added perk.  And hey, you’re going to get married so what does it matter?  You will both do a remarkable job of leading your own lives, balancing your own friends, having your own college experiences and you won’t let each other hold either one of you back – in fact, you’re going to be each others biggest supporters.  If you were to do it all over again, please do the exact same thing.
 

* There’s an internship that’s going to equally scare the crap out of you and invigorate you at the same time.  Step out of that comfort zone of yours… you won’t regret it.  As a kid, you’re going to love being on the boat – you have no idea how that’s going to translate when you get older.  You might want to suck it up and finish that SCUBA certification a little earlier.  And you’re going to meet some pretty fantastic people that become family in another country. On a tropical island.  Where you research dolphins.  By swimming with them.  In the wild.  Yeah, you won’t believe it right away either. Make sure you go back and visit often. It’s your home away from home.

 

 

* You are going to find a man who you could have NEVER imagined would be destined for you.  Treat him well – he’s so worth it.  You MIGHT want to do a better job of that sometimes… but he’ll stick by you because he loves you too… ALMOST as much as you love him.   It’s going to be hard – really hard – when you’re doing the long-distance thing.  But believe me when I tell you everything will work out.  You have no idea how fulfilling your life will be like with him.  I still can’t believe he’s yours.

 

* Dance with your grandfather at your wedding… it will be one of your biggest regrets if you don’t.  Also, don’t care how many bridesmaids you have – put your cousins in the bridal party.  You’ll regret not doing that too.

 

 

* You’re going to develop a ridiculous crush on a fictitious vampire.  Don’t worry because 20 million other women (including your cousins and mother) will too.  It keeps you young.  Besides, it’s inappropriate to have  posters of your childhood crushes on your wall when you’re older than 12 (for the record, those posters will include JTT, members of New Kids on the Block, Devon Sawa and Jared Leto).
 

* Be glamorous.  You don’t dress up enough and you don’t REALLY find your girly side until you start dating your now husband (he brings out the best in you).  Try wearing heels more often… eh, maybe not.
 

 

* Remember to laugh – your smile is one of your best assets (or so you are told) and laughing truly is the best medicine.  Sometimes you take life a little too seriously.  Lighten up.  Your laid-back husband will remind you often.

 

* Live life to the fullest.  Sounds cliche but you do a really good job at it.  I just hope you remember to do it after you turn 30 as much as you did before.

 
 

As I go through all kinds of feelings and experiences in my journey through life — delight, surprise, chagrin, dismay — I hold this question as a guiding light: “What do I really need right now to be happy?” What I come to over and over again is that only qualities as vast and deep as love, connection and kindness will really make me happy in any sort of enduring way. ~ Sharon Salzberg