Wait… HOW did you get here???

There’s a saying in Maine (where I’m from) that says “ya can’t git theya frum hea” or in non-Mainer articulation, “you can’t get there from here.”  And I think that’s pretty true of this blog.

 

Now that I have 20-something posts under my bloggy belt (I might need to create a new notch!), I’ve started to really look at the Search Engine Terms that have been used to force guide someone to stumble onto this god forsaken blog.  Of course there are the generic “donate blood,” “exercise cartoons,” “mad hatter” (bonus points for “Johnny Depp mad hatter”) and the ever popular “snowboard” but there have been quite a few searches that leave me wondering… what exactly do people DO on the internet?  And then there are those searches that literally have me bursting out laughing (LOLing if you will).  I wanted to regale all of you with some of the simple entertainment I receive on a day to day basis.
Here are some examples:

 

mad hatter johnny depp full body

I like the way you think.

 

it is easier to do many things than to do one thing for a long time

What is this in reference to exactly?  Because I can certainly think of things I’d rather do for a long time vs. having to do many things at once.

 

blue, 5 button cartoon phone for kids

I’m not even sure how this search could have POSSIBLY gotten you to carharttsandcoachbags.  Honestly.

 

i dont know what im good at

Me neither but stop spending time whining and Googling about it and go figure it out!

 

jack daniels girls

I am one so this search is totally appropriate.

 

the duggars home floor plan

Planning on having 19 children of your own and need to renovate sometime soon?

 

couple kissing divorce isn’t working out cartoon

This HAS to be something in particular because there is no way that this is a random search someone is doing (Note:  I Googled it… and I got nothing).

 

johnny depp childhood pictures

Won’t find them here but please tell me where you do!

 

i’m always right cartoon

Although I think this, I’ve never publicly stated this on my blog so I’m not quite sure how you got here.

 

brawny bachelor

Apparently someone had the same idea I had!

 

happy birthday snowboard

“Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday Dear Snowboard, Happy Birthday to you!”

Can I be invited to the party?

What?  Everyone deserves Birthday celebrations!

“as u travel on life’s pathway, may this always be ur goal; keep ur eyes upon the doughnut – and”

And what? What’s the ending???  I’m sure this is the inspirational quote I’ve needed all of my life!  It even has the word doughnut in it!  And now I feel cheated out of not knowing the whole thing!

 

harry potter ride puke

Ahhhh… it wasn’t just me.

 

how many people get sick on harry potter and the forbidden journey

Apparently a lot.

 

moaning teenagers

I wonder what kind of websites THIS search popped up.

 

awkward ash wednesday

It’s a Wednesday and you’re walking around with black smut on your face… I think the use of the word awkward was unnecessary.

 

crap husband

I have never utilized these two words in any way shape or form that should have brought this search to my blog.  My husband is not crap… he is prime poop.

 

strangers thinks that i am quite my friends thinks that i am loud

Quite and loud are not antonyms… QUIET and loud are.  And how did this spawn two views?  Was it really searched twice?

 

carharttsandcoachbags

Lookie here – this will get you right on the money!

 

snowboard fail

Pretty much sums up my experience.

 

ok, whenever she gets a chance

You know… a chance to figure out what she should Google.

 

exotic aunt

Bow chicka!

 

good looking man

This MUST have brought them to my “Cast of Characters” post because I have one of those!

 

suck it up princess

This one was searched before my Disney post… so it has nothing to do with Cinderella.  I think it’s pretty straightforward.

 

I need this shirt.

 

the mad hatter johnny depp sitting down

How specific…

 

And my favorite…

brains 25 cents drive in

Hearts 15 cents, over the counter.

 

Huh… apparently it’s a real thing!  I still don’t know how they would have gotten to my blog.

There was another search (that I can’t even bring myself to post here for fear of future searches… and the embarrassment that my family reads this blog) but I’m sure it brought the user to some rather adult content and I’m still pondering why it popped them over to this (relatively) tame site.

 

And just as a reminder to myself… the majority of the people stumbling (either drunkenly or not) upon this blog are spending the amount of time that it takes to right click and save a cartoon they just Google searched and are not ACTUALLY reading the posts that I painstakingly lovingly write.

 

Humbling, I assure you.

 

I had a lot of fun (and some good laughs) looking at these searches… Because it would only let me view a certain number of days into my history, this might need to be a weekly installation!

 

And for the record, Diamond snores… loudly.  But she’s so friggin’ cute!

 

I don’t believe you should make fun of anyone but yourself. ~Cameron Diaz